Long story short, numbers and budget didn't add up and the special education position I had at the middle school has been cut to half time, and I have been involuntarily transferred to the high school.
I can't feel entitled to my job, it honestly fell in my lap and I do not have the correct degree to teach. However, this change greatly effects the special education students who greatly need help and will not receive as much as they were before.
I'm pretty non-confrontational, but this was a situation where I felt I needed to fight for the kids. I willingly stepped into confrontation to advocate for students, and I'm really proud of myself for that. I can walk away knowing I did all I could. I spent my last day at middle school eating cookies and playing uno with students and really getting a chance to delight in them.
It was pretty heartbreaking to leave the kids and staff that I've been getting to know for the last month or so, but it is time to accept what I cannot change and go be a light at the high school. Ultimately, God has put me exactly where He wants me, and even if that's not where I wanted to be, I know He will work it for good. I'm calling on Him to strengthen me and give me a positive attitude to make a difference at the high school. High school is a totally different ball game than middle school!
As a kind teacher reminded me, there must be some students at the high school that really need me. My classroom will be a learning lab, where I will get to help students with homework and help them get on track to graduate. Although this isn't what I set out to do, it is my prayer to be an encouragement and a believer in these kids.
When unexpected and hard changes like this happen, there's many things I turn to for comfort. First and foremost is God and family and friends. I need hugs and a good cry. In the moments I need strength and encouragement, a major place I turn to is music.
I want to share with you a playlist I have had for a while, all the songs share this message: "You've Got This." This is a phrase I really came to know in a leadership group I was part of during college. We would shout it to each other while climbing 100 foot trees at challenge courses, and when we came across difficult situations with the students we mentored. It's a phrase I've held onto to remember the capability I have and the endless source of strength and love I have through Jesus.
I've listened to this playlist through many a tough time, and believe me it's been on repeat for the last five days. I've sent it to friends in challenging seasons and I hope if you are coming across it in one of those times, it encourages you. This is my "You've Got This" playlist. You can find it on Spotify at this link:
https://open.spotify.com/user/1264426459/playlist/1oxV5367afySn8YmQrRApe
When I feel like giving up
When my heart is hurt too much
Feels like I've reached the end
No, I won't turn and run
This battle will be won
When I've done all I can
I stand
Britt Nicole, Stand
I do make the best lemonade.
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Hi Kelsey! Visiting today from Women with Intention and I was so delighted with the beauty of your website and the inviting title of the home page. More than that, this post touched my heart specifically as someone who taught special education in a middle school situation for 13 years. It seemed there were always cuts happening in one way or another and I often took it personally in the sense that the kids that mattered so much to me seemed to get devalued over and over again. After 15 years in education, I went to graduate school and became a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor where I felt I could make a difference in lives as well. Even so, I know the ongoing challenges you face and just wanted you to know I care. I also love the poster for the new learning lab position. God bless, Kelsey! The learning lab students will be so fortunate to have you!!
ReplyDeleteWow Pam, that is so crazy because I am trying to decided between teaching and counseling! It's always a great thing to remember that I don't have to choose one career and stick with it my whole life, it's ok to change and I love hearing when that goes well for others! I appreciate your encouragement and kind words, it's always nice to know when others understand what you're going through. Blessings!
DeleteHi Kelsey! I'm a high school teacher and although my position hasn't been cut I have definitely be challenged lately and I am feeling like I am being uprooted from this location and I need to be somewhere else. This feeling won't go away and little things keep happening which seem to further convince me that this season is up. Its a hard and difficult place to be in because I don't know what comes next but I do know that the Lord is the author and finisher of my faith. I don't know when it suppose to happen but I know that God 's time will be the best time. There are a lot of uncertainties but I know throughout each one of them God gives strength and grace to persevere through them all. Isn't it amazing how after a good cry the Lord tends to pick us up and put helps us to see from His perspective.
ReplyDeleteTona, listening to those little prompts from God and then trusting his timing for when action needs to be taken is always challenging! I'm encouraged by your trust and faith in the Lord in this season of change. And yes, I do find letting that good cry out works wonders!
DeleteI've got this! And you've got it too, girl. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the spirit boost. Have a wonderful weekend!